This Christmas

Santa can you hear me?
I have been so good this year,
All I want is one thing

- Britney Spears, My Only Wish

*****

Okay okay! It's a Britney song, but in my defense, I did not know that while I was enjoying it playing over the mall's sound-system at work. It's only when I got home that, to my dismay, I found it was a Britney song. D: It's like that time with the Jonas Brothers' "Look Me In The Eye." But it's not my fault! I like these songs! But don't worrrryyyyy, I'll post up another song's lyrics at the end. :D

So like, since everyone else is doing it I thought I'd post what I want for Christmas up on my blog. Because everyone else is doing it. So here goes.

What I want for Christmas is....

A SECRET. :D

Heeee. Sorry that's an inside joke. I know someone is cursing me if she's reading this now. And to make it no longer an inside joke I shall now explain it. So first things first. I think I should say that I think asking people "What do you want for Christmas?" is a really weird practice. I mean, I know you want to get them something they want. But like, that's so weird right? It's like you're going to propose to your significant other and you ask them "Do you want me to propose? Yes? Okay then, I'll propose tomorrow!" It doesn't make any sense to me.

It's like asking someone what they want then pretending they didn't tell you and you just happened to pick up just what they wanted. Then you wrap it and give it to them. As if they don't already know what's inside! I mean, I don't mind asking people what they want. So I suppose I can't really condemn the practice. It does make shopping so much easier. But I don't like telling people what I want. ^_^

I used to want a lot of things. Want want want. But then, I'm not sure exactly when I hit on the fact that I will get tired of anything given time. Like I got tired of my phone. Or my XBOX. Or anything else. So I started thinking, I don't really want anything. I mean, I've got everything I need. Everything I could ever want, pretty much.

I have parents.

I have siblings.

I have friends who love me and who I love.

I have a life.

I have a home.

I have food.

I have luxuries like my PC, a car to drive, a mobile phone.

What more could I possibly need? I've got everything I could ever need right here. And I can safely say I'm contented. But that doesn't mean I don't want anything. See I've come to the realization that I can live without what I want. And I can be happy without it too, if I allow myself to be. But that doesn't mean I don't want it.

It's hard to put into words. Which may seem strange since I talk so much usually. But here's the thing. What I want, isn't something you can touch, or see, or smell, or taste. It's metaphysical. It's a concept, a perpetually shifting idea. Plus it's something no one can give. That's the catch I think. If I really think about it, I suppose there is at least one person who could give it to me if they really wanted to. But here's the thing, it's one of those things you don't ever want to ask for.

It's one of those things that you won't want anymore if you ask for it. Understand? Like... if you really want something. And you tell someone. And they give it to you. But it costs them a lot. Or you know they only gave it to you because it was easy but didn't really care. You don't really want it anymore. I don't know if I'm making myself clear. But if someone knows me well enough to know what I want, and cares about me enough to give it to me. That's one of the best feelings in the universe. ^_^

See the way my system works is, I believe that no one can give me what I want. And thus I don't feel bad about not getting it. You see, because if I can't have it, then no one else can have it either. But if it's some dumb thing like a...walkman. Then someone could have one and I would be unhappy. But since no one can give me what I want. Or the person/people who can are in no position to; I'm perfectly fine.

So yes, don't be expecting to find out what I want from this post. I won't tell. ^_^

I just wanted to let it be known that. I don't really need anything for Christmas. If you're getting me something, thank you! :) If not, thanks anyway.

I may not have what I want exactly. But that's alright. I already have more than I could ever have asked for.

I have everything I need.

Jared

*****

I don't have any song lyrics to post here! Hee. I'll skip juuuuust for this post. ^_^