I like whimsical things. I like the way they don't necessarily seem to carry much meaning to most people, but to the person who writes them, or sings them, or paints them, or whatevers them, they can carry the meaning of all the pain and heartache, and joy and passion, and exhaustion and world-weariness that this person has ever been through. I mean, the title of this post may not make any sense to you. And it may seem completely pointless in its cliched-whimsicality, but it carries meaning for me. :)
It's been about three months now since I was restored to singularity. And I wouldn't say it's something that's easy to get used to. (Specially after two and a half years of "I love yous" and "Let's spend our lives together.") But then, I believe that there is some ultimate reason for each and every thing that happens to us. I have to, the alternative just doesn't bear thinking about. :)
A friend of mine wrote recently that she can't stand it when people refuse to learn, refuse to think, refuse to be confident and independent. And like a lot of things these days, it got me thinking. About me, of course. It's a scary thing to lose a loved one. Someone who was there for so long. Someone who you could turn to in any moment of weakness to comfort you, to dry your tears. And when I say lose, I don't mean just to death. Maybe they left. Maybe they didn't want to be around anymore. For whatever reason, they're lost to you.
It's easy, in that moment I think, to let yourself be caught up in the sheer pain of it all. On some subconscious level we enjoy it. We enjoy being miserable. Or at least, that's what I think. It connects us to that person somehow. Lets us lean on them just that little longer we need to pull ourselves together and soldier on for awhile more. I think humans have it built into them. That need for something.
Some people try to fill it with fame. Britney Spears tried that. Some people try to fill it with power. Hitler tried that. Some people try to fill it with money. The Hiltons tried that. And some people try to fill it with another person. So many people try that. I tried that. But what we all eventually have to accept is that, in the end, nothing seems to be enough. Nothing can fill that void.
Of course, that wouldn't make sense though, would it? I mean, we feel hungry, and food exists to fill that need, we feel thirsty and water exists to fill that need. We feel tired, sleep exists to fill that need, we feel lonely, other people exist for us to talk to. So it wouldn't logically make sense for something to not exist to fill this overwhelming need that wells up inside us, would it? A few people I know, they're awesome people. Girls mostly. But that's probably just because I hang around with girls more.
They've decided to be "smart." (Here I stop and grin to myself.) See, these girls are amazing. In every sense of the word. Beautiful, intelligent, outgoing, confident, but the dealbreaker? Completely and utterly INdependent. They've been hurt in their lives, hurt to the point where they withdraw and see themselves as the only person they can rely on. Don't get me wrong, I like girls who are sure of themselves. I like a girl who'll stare a guy down just for fun. Or who'll completely defeat him in a friendly banter.
But what I've learned of human nature is, we're made to depend. The people who don't? Don't end up so well. I doubt Donald Trump is happy with his...what? Third wife? If he is, I wonder how long he will be. All he needs is himself. We're MADE to depend. If we weren't, we'd each have our own planet so we could live alone. When I say depend, I don't mean you fall apart without a person holding you together. That's PARASITIC.
The dictionary defines dependence as: reliance, confidence, or trust.
I love that. I used to see dependence as weakness too. But I love that I know its true face now. Reliance, confidence, or trust. Words not lightly thrown around. To rely on, to confide in, or to trust someone. Those are big things, things I would say, akin to love. Or as close as you can get.
I write a lot. ^_^ But I heard in a movie once that, "While the truncheon may be used in lieu of conversation, words will always retain their power. Words offer the the means to meaning, and for those who will listen, the enunciation of truth." And nowadays that's what people do, isn't it? So many people look to something to swat away their troubles for a time. Smoking, drinking, sex, drugs. So many couples would rather make out than talk about their futures, dreams or lives.
I love the future. I want to be great. I want to do things people only dream of. But all that can wait for awhile. Right now, I am me. And I'm happy with that. Happy with who I am so far.
My friend concluded by writing, "From this, you would deduce that I'm rather cold and unloving. But I am." I can honestly say that I don't believe that in the least. Any person who actually cares enough to get annoyed when people aren't strong enough to stand on their own is anything but unloving. ^_^ It's funny how people can sell themselves so short.
I've been through hell (metaphorically speaking ;)) and I've almost drowned in the sea of my own inadequacies. And coming out of it, I've learned a few things.
Knowing you're weak doesn't make you a weakling.
Feeling lonely doesn't make you alone.
Crying doesn't make you a girl. :P
And depending doesn't make you dependant.
Life is all about perspectives. Like a diamond, it refracts light into a million splinters of colour. I am who I am, and I can be no one else. But if you could, would you really want to? ;)
It's been about three months now since I was restored to singularity. And I wouldn't say it's something that's easy to get used to. (Specially after two and a half years of "I love yous" and "Let's spend our lives together.") But then, I believe that there is some ultimate reason for each and every thing that happens to us. I have to, the alternative just doesn't bear thinking about. :)
A friend of mine wrote recently that she can't stand it when people refuse to learn, refuse to think, refuse to be confident and independent. And like a lot of things these days, it got me thinking. About me, of course. It's a scary thing to lose a loved one. Someone who was there for so long. Someone who you could turn to in any moment of weakness to comfort you, to dry your tears. And when I say lose, I don't mean just to death. Maybe they left. Maybe they didn't want to be around anymore. For whatever reason, they're lost to you.
It's easy, in that moment I think, to let yourself be caught up in the sheer pain of it all. On some subconscious level we enjoy it. We enjoy being miserable. Or at least, that's what I think. It connects us to that person somehow. Lets us lean on them just that little longer we need to pull ourselves together and soldier on for awhile more. I think humans have it built into them. That need for something.
Some people try to fill it with fame. Britney Spears tried that. Some people try to fill it with power. Hitler tried that. Some people try to fill it with money. The Hiltons tried that. And some people try to fill it with another person. So many people try that. I tried that. But what we all eventually have to accept is that, in the end, nothing seems to be enough. Nothing can fill that void.
Of course, that wouldn't make sense though, would it? I mean, we feel hungry, and food exists to fill that need, we feel thirsty and water exists to fill that need. We feel tired, sleep exists to fill that need, we feel lonely, other people exist for us to talk to. So it wouldn't logically make sense for something to not exist to fill this overwhelming need that wells up inside us, would it? A few people I know, they're awesome people. Girls mostly. But that's probably just because I hang around with girls more.
They've decided to be "smart." (Here I stop and grin to myself.) See, these girls are amazing. In every sense of the word. Beautiful, intelligent, outgoing, confident, but the dealbreaker? Completely and utterly INdependent. They've been hurt in their lives, hurt to the point where they withdraw and see themselves as the only person they can rely on. Don't get me wrong, I like girls who are sure of themselves. I like a girl who'll stare a guy down just for fun. Or who'll completely defeat him in a friendly banter.
But what I've learned of human nature is, we're made to depend. The people who don't? Don't end up so well. I doubt Donald Trump is happy with his...what? Third wife? If he is, I wonder how long he will be. All he needs is himself. We're MADE to depend. If we weren't, we'd each have our own planet so we could live alone. When I say depend, I don't mean you fall apart without a person holding you together. That's PARASITIC.
The dictionary defines dependence as: reliance, confidence, or trust.
I love that. I used to see dependence as weakness too. But I love that I know its true face now. Reliance, confidence, or trust. Words not lightly thrown around. To rely on, to confide in, or to trust someone. Those are big things, things I would say, akin to love. Or as close as you can get.
I write a lot. ^_^ But I heard in a movie once that, "While the truncheon may be used in lieu of conversation, words will always retain their power. Words offer the the means to meaning, and for those who will listen, the enunciation of truth." And nowadays that's what people do, isn't it? So many people look to something to swat away their troubles for a time. Smoking, drinking, sex, drugs. So many couples would rather make out than talk about their futures, dreams or lives.
I love the future. I want to be great. I want to do things people only dream of. But all that can wait for awhile. Right now, I am me. And I'm happy with that. Happy with who I am so far.
My friend concluded by writing, "From this, you would deduce that I'm rather cold and unloving. But I am." I can honestly say that I don't believe that in the least. Any person who actually cares enough to get annoyed when people aren't strong enough to stand on their own is anything but unloving. ^_^ It's funny how people can sell themselves so short.
I've been through hell (metaphorically speaking ;)) and I've almost drowned in the sea of my own inadequacies. And coming out of it, I've learned a few things.
Knowing you're weak doesn't make you a weakling.
Feeling lonely doesn't make you alone.
Crying doesn't make you a girl. :P
And depending doesn't make you dependant.
Life is all about perspectives. Like a diamond, it refracts light into a million splinters of colour. I am who I am, and I can be no one else. But if you could, would you really want to? ;)
Poem Written While Looking At The Night Sky
(Shut up, it's hard to think of names sometimes)
Starlight, starbright
Asleep by day, awake by night,
Silent watchmen of the sky,
When sunlight says its warm goodbye,
And then again when new day breaks,
When sunshine 'cross the night sky rakes,
You twinkle out to sleep again,
'Til moonshine makes your faces plain
(Shut up, it's hard to think of names sometimes)
Starlight, starbright
Asleep by day, awake by night,
Silent watchmen of the sky,
When sunlight says its warm goodbye,
And then again when new day breaks,
When sunshine 'cross the night sky rakes,
You twinkle out to sleep again,
'Til moonshine makes your faces plain
I love poetry. It's the encapsulation of an emotion. The crystallization of a heartbeat and the sound of freedom. I was born for this. ^_^
The night wanes, I bid thee goodnight, Lords and Ladies,
This humble minstrel hopes to entertain you more anon,
Lache pas la patate, mes amis
Jared
The night wanes, I bid thee goodnight, Lords and Ladies,
This humble minstrel hopes to entertain you more anon,
Lache pas la patate, mes amis
Jared
